Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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