I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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