Got a toothbrush?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
