so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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