I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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