Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
