doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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