Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
