Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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