the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
