addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
