where am i from again
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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