You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
