fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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