The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
