I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
