..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
