you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
