i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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