You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish you could order shots online.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need a beard to bite.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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