i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
