think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
