I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
