areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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