Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
