your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
