In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
