There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
my liver is dry heaving
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
