I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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