I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
