It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
