What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
