I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
