dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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