My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
