shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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