I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
