JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
