i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
