I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
