I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Randomize
