its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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