ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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