T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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