I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
