um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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