Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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