I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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