glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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