Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
