Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
